Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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