i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize