omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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