I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
