New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
