a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
