let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
