This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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