I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize