we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
