We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize