dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize