yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
