this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
