He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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