i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
