i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
