Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
