Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
