I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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