we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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