I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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