That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
