it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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