If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We need to get me chipped asap
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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