Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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