Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
