She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
