She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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