sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
