I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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