problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
