This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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