I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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