and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
