If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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