We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You're like the curious george of whores
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
