I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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