i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
