woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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