Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize