Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
