I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
