Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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