just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
