i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
