is your mom at the bar?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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