yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i already hear my dad disowning me
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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