we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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