my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Terrible idea I love it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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