It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its liver damage thursday
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