Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
