no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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