Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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