I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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