Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize