What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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