I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
only if we run a train.
done.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
