You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
