I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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