Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
